It has been said that “happiness writes white”. The phrase comes from the idea that writing in a compelling, engaging way about matters of love, happiness and satisfaction, and thinking it would sell is much more difficult than writing about unhappiness, conflict, hardship, and so on. For many of us, happiness is the part of life we take for granted. Happiness is the part of life that for many of us, merely demarcates the times between crises, which many of us use to define ourselves.

There was a period in my life where perhaps enough crises happened during a similar period that it became easier to define myself in terms of my problems. I noticed then that is how many people talk about themselves in conversation. And once I defeined myself in those terms it became difficult to see myself in any other terms.

Whever possible, it is always better to define yourself the other way around: in terms of good times puncutated by the odd hardship. When I think about my life and look at it very closely, the best times I have had — the loves, the friendships, the victories  — are the ones I take for granted. There is a lot that I have taken for granted, and it is about time I took notice. And I think it’s true generally.

There was an article by Joshua Shenk in The Atlantic Monthly this past month that cites a longitudinal study regarding what makes us happy. It is unusual in that it investigates people who were perceived at the time of the start of the study to be normal. This longitudinal study followed its subjects over a period of 72 years since their freshman days at Harvard University in the late 1920s. They had followed 268 men since the late 1930s through graduation, marriage, divorce, parenthood and ultimately old age.

It appears as though the elements for “happiness” are elusive, although everyone seems to agree that material happiness beyond affording basic security does not seem to be a factor in any way. People who had satisfying relationships earlier in their lives tended to live longer and beocome happier in their old age. People who have “survived” major crises in a positive way have stayed happy by becoming more altrusitic. You keep it by giving it away. You tend to live longer if you forgive your detractors, or to ask for forgiveness.

This study differs from most other studies in that , rather than look at what makes a person unwell, it is looking at the things that make people happy and contented. These days, “Positive Psychology” is a growing field.