Sleeping with Martha

My wife persuaded me to sleep with Martha. She said that it will make me feel good, and that it was good to have her in bed with us. When I tried to do it with Martha I was spoiled for anything else, and my wife wasn’t even jealous. However, I noticed, that while Martha [...]

Read Full Post »

Don’t vote Jesus for president

The worst part is, he is soft on crime, with all that clap-trap of “love your enemies”. Watch this incredibly good satire:
video
Thanks to Mark Fiore.

Read Full Post »

A NatLamp article at a White Supremacist site

I have been a fan of the National Lampoon since I was a teen in the 1970s. One of the most shocking articles for me to read in the mid 70s was P J O’Rourke’s “Foreigners From Around The World”, which appeared in the National Lampoon in May, 1976. The article is really a heap [...]

Read Full Post »

I laughed till I choked

This was originally discovered at Patti’s Random Noise. A Google search shows that this one is all over the ‘net, with a complete history behind the sign and everything. I laughed so hard, I could barely breathe; I was even in pain. And, yes, I suppose that particular clinic doesn’t see many clients, having already [...]

Read Full Post »

I Can’t Get Behind “I Can’t Get Behind That”

I Can’t Get Behind That — William Shatner and Henry Rollins
Never charted anywhere
From the album “Has Been” (2004)
See/Hear it here, if you dare. You hear it, but you only can view muppets lip-syncing to the song. You can also get the mp3 and the rest of the album from EMusic. My understanding is that no [...]

Read Full Post »

New ways of going insane

“Excessive text messaging and email” is now proposed to be included as new mental illnesses in an update to the Diagnostics and Statistical Manual (DSM-IV). These are not the only silly classifications they have.
One proposed mental illness that I have heard from that seminal magazine, the Journal of Polymorphic Perversity, is “Consensual Validation Disorder”. That [...]

Read Full Post »

I wannabe Chris: A parody about Chris Crocker Parodies - Updates

Some updates to the story I wrote.
There are some minor changes to my story. (link above)
The Chris Crocker video in question.
His imitators (parody, of course, and not all male). Many of these stray far off the topic of Chris Crocker: 1 2 3 4 5 (Israel?) 6 7 8 9 10 (a hockey player?) 11
There [...]

Read Full Post »

Threes (by John Atherton)

I think that I shall never c
A # lovelier than 3;
For 3 < 6 or 4,
And than 1 it’s slightly >.
All things in nature come in 3s,
Like ∴, trio’s, Q.E.D.s;
While $s gain more dignity
if augmented 3 x 3 –
A 3 whose slender curves are pressed
By banks, for compound interest;
Oh, would that, paying loans or rent,
My [...]

Read Full Post »

My Geo-Trig Poem

You take tan b and ×
sin(cos(q+y))
and just to make it more complex
÷ cot(Δx)
And so then by csc(Θ)
× angles π, ρ, η
and show that they continue on
by proof with δ - ε.
Once tidied-up you then inspect
and find the answer incorrect
So then you do the question over
Once it’s right you then discover
You were to do the even [...]

Read Full Post »

Potter and the Common Man

To add to the “Welcome Back Potter” idea, there may also be students in Harry’s class that, you know, may be into illicit “elixirs” or maybe they bought a “potion” they weren’t supposed to have from some wicked witch down the road. There would be cases of potion abuse that would likely involve administrators and [...]

Read Full Post »

Fortune Cookies III

More auto-generated fortunes:
question = ( to ) ? be : ! be;
– C code, loosely based on Wm. Shakespeare
Experience, n.:
Something you don’t get until just after you need it.
– Olivier
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
– Redd [...]

Read Full Post »

Pink Martini

Pink Martini is a Jazz ensemble (although much of what they do is of an “international” flavour) featuring a lead vocalist, a pianist, and a string and horn section. I purchased a CD recently called Hey Eugene, whose title track is really hilarious. It was played on our local jazz station. The other tracks are [...]

Read Full Post »

Fortune Cookie Generator

Anyone who had used a UNIX operating system might be aware of some of the fun things on it. Such as a command called “fortune”, which generates short aphorisms and quotations similar to ones found in fortune cookies. Except some of these are funny, witty, sarcastic, satirical, and so on. I use a Linux system, [...]

Read Full Post »

Ad parody for Windows Vista

Follow this link. It is the best Nat Lamp parody I have seen in a long time. Apologies for the repost, it is being posted to several new categories.

Read Full Post »

Tribute to Matt Groening

For some reason I am lukewarm in my view of The Simpsons, although it is difficult to deny its effect on the masses: I think it is rivalling Bonanza and Gunsmoke as one of the longest-running series in television history,but not the longest.
Notwithstanding The Simpsons, I am more of a fan of Groening’s comic strip [...]

Read Full Post »

Little known books by JK Rowling

Welcome Back, Potter
Harry Potter gets teacher training, graduates, and gets sent back to Hogwarts to teach. He is assigned a classroom of the worst students in the school, referred to as “sweathogs”, or to be more precise, “warthogs”. See what happens with our future witches and warlocks who have emotional and learning problems, who are [...]

Read Full Post »

More on serenity

Just Google’d “serenity” and the fourth on a list of over 19 million web pages is to the website for serenity incontinence products. So, that’s how old folks seem so serene. They just buy Serenity off the shelves at Sharper’s Drug Mark and take it home. Clever trick. All that being said, I am not [...]

Read Full Post »

I wannabe Chris: A parody about Chris Crocker Parodies

I was going to write a parody of Roch Carrier’s The Hockey Sweater, but I didn’t really want to write a real story. I was going to write about a group of people who were all fans of Chris Crocker, in the same sense that some people in earlier generations were fans of Maurice Richard. [...]

Read Full Post »

Rednecks and Rappers

You’ve seen it. Both wear plumber-butt pants. (In both cases, you therefore need to say “no” to crack). Both groups wear their baseball caps backwards. The women in both groups are oversexed. Rednecks live in trailer parks; Rappers will not hesitate to tell you they come from the Ghetto. Both live in varying degrees of [...]

Read Full Post »

Jamie-Lynn Spears

Wow. I was going through You-Tube, and, remembering the Chris Crocker hysteria (his and those he caused), there are now a plethora of Chris Crocker imitators who are standing up “in defense” of Jamie Lynn Spears. “Leave Jamie Lynn Alone” seems to be the most common title. All of them try to imitate the conniption [...]

Read Full Post »