Sleeping with Martha

My wife persuaded me to sleep with Martha. She said that it will make me feel good, and that it was good to have her in bed with us. When I tried to do it with Martha I was spoiled for anything else, and my wife wasn’t even jealous. However, I noticed, that while Martha [...]

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Don’t vote Jesus for president

The worst part is, he is soft on crime, with all that clap-trap of “love your enemies”. Watch this incredibly good satire:
video
Thanks to Mark Fiore.

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I laughed till I choked

This was originally discovered at Patti’s Random Noise. A Google search shows that this one is all over the ‘net, with a complete history behind the sign and everything. I laughed so hard, I could barely breathe; I was even in pain. And, yes, I suppose that particular clinic doesn’t see many clients, having already [...]

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I Can’t Get Behind “I Can’t Get Behind That”

I Can’t Get Behind That — William Shatner and Henry Rollins
Never charted anywhere
From the album “Has Been” (2004)
See/Hear it here, if you dare. You hear it, but you only can view muppets lip-syncing to the song. You can also get the mp3 and the rest of the album from EMusic. My understanding is that no [...]

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New ways of going insane

“Excessive text messaging and email” is now proposed to be included as new mental illnesses in an update to the Diagnostics and Statistical Manual (DSM-IV). These are not the only silly classifications they have.
One proposed mental illness that I have heard from that seminal magazine, the Journal of Polymorphic Perversity, is “Consensual Validation Disorder”. That [...]

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I wannabe Chris: A parody about Chris Crocker Parodies - Updates

Some updates to the story I wrote.
There are some minor changes to my story. (link above)
The Chris Crocker video in question.
His imitators (parody, of course, and not all male). Many of these stray far off the topic of Chris Crocker: 1 2 3 4 5 (Israel?) 6 7 8 9 10 (a hockey player?) 11
There [...]

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Threes (by John Atherton)

I think that I shall never c
A # lovelier than 3;
For 3 < 6 or 4,
And than 1 it’s slightly >.
All things in nature come in 3s,
Like ∴, trio’s, Q.E.D.s;
While $s gain more dignity
if augmented 3 x 3 –
A 3 whose slender curves are pressed
By banks, for compound interest;
Oh, would that, paying loans or rent,
My [...]

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My Geo-Trig Poem

You take tan b and ×
sin(cos(q+y))
and just to make it more complex
÷ cot(Δx)
And so then by csc(Θ)
× angles π, ρ, η
and show that they continue on
by proof with δ - ε.
Once tidied-up you then inspect
and find the answer incorrect
So then you do the question over
Once it’s right you then discover
You were to do the even [...]

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Potter and the Common Man

To add to the “Welcome Back Potter” idea, there may also be students in Harry’s class that, you know, may be into illicit “elixirs” or maybe they bought a “potion” they weren’t supposed to have from some wicked witch down the road. There would be cases of potion abuse that would likely involve administrators and [...]

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Fortune Cookies III

More auto-generated fortunes:
question = ( to ) ? be : ! be;
– C code, loosely based on Wm. Shakespeare
Experience, n.:
Something you don’t get until just after you need it.
– Olivier
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
– Redd [...]

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